Is everything written in the stars? 

I don’t believe in astrology. According to a horoscope, Aries is suitable for careers such as entrepreneur, sales manager, emergency responder, or surgeon. None of those jobs seem to be fitting for me.

But there was a time I wished I had my North Star to follow. 

On May 30th 2011, I was in Los Angeles. I was spending a few days on the West Coast before going back to Osaka after living in New York for 2 years.

It was a difficult decision to leave New York. Going back to Japan was not what I was hoping for. I wanted to get a job in the United States and get a Green Card. I have been working hard for internships and trying to get a job for the last two years. But under the economic circumstances at that time, it seemed to be unrealistic to chase that dream anymore.

I knew I would have to start looking for jobs as soon as I returned to Japan. Yet I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. It felt as if I have been dumped by someone I had thought I was going to marry, and then I had to start looking for a date again. It was not a happy trip. I was sombre. 

Feeling turbulent yet trying to make the most out of my last few days in the U.S., I visited Griffith Observatory. 

There was a planetarium show. It has been a while since I watched a planetarium the last time, and it was certainly the first time to see in the United States. I got a ticket for myself. The seat was much larger and softer than the ones in Japan, and it reclined very deep. Somehow it reminded me of an elementary school’s excursion to a local planetarium in Kobe. There were small wooden seats that hardly reclined. Had I been able to tell an 9-year-old myself that I would be in this large planetarium in LA in 20 years, what young Chiyo would have said, I pondered. Would she be excited (“Wow, Los Angeles!”), or disappointed (“Oh, you are jobless…”)?

The lights went off, and the show started. The presenter was a guy who looked like in his 30s. The moment he started speaking, I was captivated by his voice. It was gentle, deep yet crisp. There are certain types of voices that appeal to our eardrums, and he has got one of those gifted vocal cords. 

And he was very good at storytelling as well. The way he talked was smooth, compelling and engaging. Not only he explained astronomy concisely, he also threw in some jokes and anecdotes using some props and gestures to keep the audience focused throughout the show. I was amazed by his unmatched skills of presentation. 

After the show, I looked for the storyteller. He was greeting the guests and sending them off near the exit. 

“Thank you for the great show”, I said to him. “Are you a curator of this planetarium show?” I wanted to know how this science institution created such an entertaining program.

“No, I’m an actor.” He smiled showing his perfectly aligned teeth.

“Oh, you an actor! That explains it. I thought you had such a beautiful voice. And your presentation was very engaging.” I commended.

“Oh, thank you. I’m trying to make the show educational and fun.”

“You certainly made it so. Boy, I think you’ve got one of the best jobs in the world.” I said that with 90% admiration and 10% envy.

“Thanks. I think so too.” A bit humbled smile was on his face.

I exited the planetarium and walked to the terrace. I couldn’t see the stars much, but instead, there were thousands of city lights glittering in the hue of early summer evening. It was mesmerizing.

I wondered how many actors struggling under those luminous lights. How many of them can get the role they hoped for? When do they give up, or do they ever settle for something else? How do they know? And, how can I find my “role” to play in this life — in this very short period of my life on earth? 

I once again looked up at the sky, but the universe seemed too big to answer my questions. I just wished the stars to align someday.