Ten years ago today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to New York.

I was alone.

It was a beginning of my real life, in the sense that I was not following anybody else’s. Surely I have taken some big decisions before… like which course to study at university,  or what kind of job I apply for. But those decisions were still between certain social parameters which were dictated to me. Most of my peers studied at universities like I did, and then started to work after the graduation.

Going to overseas for a study was a different thing. It was an individual choice I made of my own will.

Living in another country was one of my dreams. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to study overseas, get a job, get married and have kids. And possibly a dog or two (huskies, please) to complete the picture.

And I wanted to see what and how much I could achieve by myself from scratch.

I was young and full of hope.

I still remember how cold the air was at the terminal that night. I was sitting on a bench looking at my plane, outside in the dark. It was late in the evening. It seemed that there were not many passengers on my flight. A few minutes earlier I have called my family from a pay phone to say good bye (because I had already sold my cell phone the day before), and waited the gate to open. I was feeling tense. Even the floor felt chilly and my hands were shivering.

At that moment I realized that I was all alone. No matter how many friends I make or how much my family loves me, I am on my own. In the end, I will have to deal with whatever happens in my life by myself. I shouldn’t blame anyone but myself for my choices, my decisions, my life.

It was a daunting epiphany. I felt overwhelmed. But I also felt liberated.

Ten years on, I’m still chasing my dreams. If I have failed, it was ultimately my responsibility.

So what I’m gonna do?

Ten years from now. I wonder what sort of life I will have.

But I have this dream…