When I was 17 years old, I wrote my first play.

I was a drama course student in high school. Every year senior students put on a show as a final project before graduation. All members of the class, 40 of us, had to be cast in the same show. Also, each one of us was assigned to learn staff works as well, such as a director, a choreographer, a stage set designer or a music composer. It was one of the biggest events in high school. 

I still remember the performance of the senior students which I saw when I was a freshman. The show was superb. Even though they were only two years older than me, they all looked really cool. All of the freshman and sophomore students admired them like a movie star or something. 

And then, a year and a half later, we became sophomore and started planning our show for the upcoming senior year.

The biggest issue was the script. One script has to be chosen by a class vote. Some of my classmates adopted a classic drama or a well-known novel. I wanted to write an original play.

20 pages. That was all I could write as a first draft. I enjoyed writing. I loved using my imagination. I loved creating a different world in my head. It was something I have always been doing since childhood – Traveling to a different universe where everything is possible.

4 other students also wrote a play in my class. All plays were circulated in the class for a few weeks until everyone in the class finished reading. 

I remember how much I was anxious and excited while I was waiting for the reactions of my classmates. I liked what I’ve written but I also knew that my plot was imperfect and unpolished, or ambitious at best. I could tell all the influences from my favorite mangas, animes, novels and movies. It was like 15 years old shot a home video trying to be Spielberg. Or 25 years old starting a company trying to be Steve Jobs, something like that. 

I was afraid my play would be criticized. But most of my classmates were favourable. They said they liked it or at least they enjoyed it. Some of them came to me and said that they were impressed that I could write that much. I was pleased and embarrassed at the same time. 

After several heated class discussions and votes, my script was chosen for the production. I was over the moon, but I was also feeling scared because I knew that I needed to revise the play through the course of the production. 

It was not an easy task. First of all, the play was too short. I needed to deepen characters to create more conflicts to make the story more dynamic and dramatic. I had no idea how I could do that. To me, all characters were merely plot devices. 

Second of all, teachers did not accept any conventional ending which was contrary to my idea. 

“Don’t write a good-guy-beats-a-bad-guy type of finale.” They said.

“Then what’s the theme of this play?” I got confused.

“No, don’t bother about the theme. If you care too much about morals or themes, the play will suck.”

I was at lost. Frankly, the only archetypes I knew were a hero-beats-villain or boy-meets-girl type of stories. If good people don’t win in the end, then why we fight? If we can’t make this world a better place, why do we have to bother to live? Where is a happy ending?

In hindsight, I think those teachers were trying to teach me to be original. They were trying to say that there are many more stories I can think of if I don’t stick with prevalent narratives. And now I understand it is important. But back then, the 17 years old didn’t know any story but a happy finale. 

Through many revisions, the play has been changed to something very different from the first draft. It was painful to see most of my original lines were deleted. Writing became painful. It has become something different from what I hoped to create in the first place. 

I started to doubt if it was a good decision for my class to choose my play from the beginning. Maybe Shakespeare would have been a better choice for the school play after all? But it was too late to change the script. I was tired.

“This is not what I wanted.”

One time I complained to my classmates who were helping my writing.

“I just want to entertain the audience. But teachers say it’s not enough. I don’t get it. I don’t like theatre. It’s tiring. It was my play and they try to change it.”

“It’s not YOUR play anymore. It’s OUR play. And you have to accept that.” She convinced me.

At that moment, it was tough for my ego to accept the changes on the script along the rehearsal. I reluctantly accepted changes which teachers and directors made. (Well, I had to because our time was running out and the show must go on!)

On the day before the performance, I was sitting at the auditorium of the theatre and watching the load-in. As I was looking at sceneries being set, I realized I was wrong.

There was the space I have imagined before I started writing the first draft. Scenery, music, and lighting- they were all the same to the image in my head. Actors were rehearsing the choreograph on the stage. I got goosebumps. It was the moment I could communicate with people finally. I told a story, and someone understood my idea and made it into reality. 

It was magical. My imagination has become a reality. I felt my whole body was chilling for an excitement. 

I don’t quite remember what I was doing during the show as I was so hyped up. But somehow the show went well. After the curtain closed, I cried. I was relieved. And I missed it already. I knew it was a one-time show, which is a beauty of theatre. It was the first and the last show that all classmates, 40 of us, put together.

Nearly two decades later, now I understand why teachers encouraged me to write a different ending. Because life doesn’t always end up happily-ever-after. We get stuck, we get beaten and we lose. And most of the time there is no catharsis. We have to embrace pains, losses, unfairness and all the negative emotions just to get through hard times. That is something we have to anticipate in our real lives and that is the story we need rather than repeating a fantasy. (Although I still believe in happily-ever-after.)

In a sense, that experience has changed my life. And it affected my career too. I chose to study theatre arts at university and learned arts management in New York later. 

I still remember the view from the auditorium. The excitement I had that moment. The joy of creating something original.