I was furious. I was desperate. I was full of anger, frustration and craving. 

It was the last straw: there were no bagels at any of the three bakeries in my neighborhood. I was devastated to realize no decent bagel was available near my home. I looked at the sky and lamented. Yes, I knew it. This is Japan. People don’t eat bagels that much. There are some bagel shops downtown but that’s a couple of train stops away. And I wanted to eat a bagel RIGHT AWAY!

And that moment a very simple idea came to my mind.

“Why don’t I make them myself?”

For an average cook who hasn’t even baked bread before, it seemed to be a bold idea. I thought it over. I remembered my dietitian sister had left some yeast in my fridge. I quickly checked a recipe on my phone and made sure it only required flour, salt, sugar and yeast to make bagels. As soon as I put my phone back in my pocket, I grabbed a pack of hard-wheat flour from the shelf and walked to the cashier. 

—

I love cooking in general. I like trying new recipes every now and then. However, making bread was totally different from what I have tried before.

As soon as I started kneading, I realized that it requires a lot of muscle. I pushed and stretched the dough for about 10 minutes. It seemed to be forever sticky and no matter how hard I kneaded it remained lumpy. It was a real struggle. My hands and arms started to ache. I would have looked more of a dragon slayer than a baker. I kneaded the dough as if it was a head of my nemesis. I began to curse the decision which had led me do this floury fuss, while thinking about history of mankind. How long have we humans been struggling with bread dough since the dawn of the time? Why do we have to work so hard to earn our daily bread? But if a “man” shall not live by bread alone, what shall we seek afterward? My thoughts and whims got all existential and metaphysical. 

Alas, victory for humankind! After 15 minutes or so, the dough finally started to get elastic and smooth. And I let it rested for a while. Later I made some bagel rings, boiled them and then put them in the oven.

After 20 minutes… I got my first homemade bagels!!!!! They tasted amazing. I felt an incredible sense of achievement. I’ve made it! I made bagels from scratch! I am no longer a helpless urbanite who relies on convenience stores and UberEats. I have become a dignified human being who can make bagels on her own.

As I was munching a piece of cinnamon and raisin bagel with cream cheese accompanied by a cup of coffee, I thought to myself: If you can’t find what you are looking for, maybe you should try to make it yourself.